CRAP NOIR

We are CRAP NOIR – a podcast team dedicated to bringing you some subpar jokes along with a moderately funny twist on the classic noir genre and detective radio shows of years past. Beth is a downtrodden twenty-something – completely SHOCKED that no one wants to hire her with her oddly specific and definitely legitimate Master’s degree in Detective Literature. She spends her time searching Craiglist for jobs that require her highly-sought-after expertise, thanks to the free WiFi at local New Jersey coffee shop, The Big Steam. She bugs her favorite mediocre barista, Jim Jam, for hours on end so her mother believes she isn’t an unemployable failure. Luckily for Beth, her first case finally emerges when friendly farm chicken, Esmeralda, disappears. Time to see if Beth’s degree holds up in the real-world! Follow us on Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram @crapnoir

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CRAP NOIR

The Big Steam (CRAP NOIR Extra)

June 14, 2020

The Big Steam on Route 12 -- What can we brew for you?

*Amateur jazzy music plays* 0:00

JIM JAM 0:04

Hi, I'm Jim, one of the managers at The Big Steam. We know how much the people of Central Jersey love their diners, so we're expanding our menu.

JOHNNIE 0:11

(In background)

Wowie!

JIM JAM 0:13

Not only are we still serving up our beloved beverages, but we now offer a range of fresh salads and sandwiches — from the Cajun Chop, featuring local grown produce from the Olsen Farm, to the classic Chicken Bacon Ranch so many know and love. With so many new options, we know you'll enjoy your time here even more.

JOHNNIE 0:28

As a new customer, I appreciate the friendly service and can-do attitude found among the staff at The Big Steam. Whether I order a coffee, a sandwich, or both on my super busy days, heh, they always get my order to me quickly and correctly. How's that for service?!

BETH 0:47
(Slurping hot chocolate)

Yeah, it's ok, I guess. Great windows for when you think you might slip into an existential crisis. Though one of the baristas (baristros?) can be a real pain in the—

JIM JAM1:04

And we also offer order-ahead on our website for when you need to grab and go. See our ad in the Value flier for $1 off our coffee of the month: Columbian cold brew. The Big Steam on Rt. 12 — What can we brew for you?